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Three things that brought me comfort in the past couple of days, in no particular order:
1. A long, hot shower where I had enough time to not only shampoo *and* condition, but I also took extra time to daydream about my stories in progress. A hot bowl of soup eaten in front of the TV in my jammies and a robe. Tai sleeping, with Tom on baby duty. It was like a teensy tiny vacation.
2. At the Mom's Group last Friday several of us traded confessions. One mom said she hadn't changed her son's diaper since the morning. It was 4:30 pm. Her pediatrician told her she needed to change him more often. Another mom admitted she'd given her son ice cream recently. He's not technically 'old enough' for ice cream. Another mom said she didn't want to get certain toys for her son because they'd mess up her floor. I admitted that I longed for a business trip (one of the moms had recently gotten back from a four day business trip recently). I wouldn't mind the break. Luxury = time on my own, to think, to dream... to sleep through one single night. Even though all of the 'confessions' were minor, it felt like a moment of bonding. None of us are perfect, we're all trying our best. And there's little as comforting as knowing that we aren't alone in having hard times.
3. Last night Tom and I had a fight. It wasn't pretty, but we both said some things that needed to be said; unfortunately we also said some things that didn't need to be said. But as we went to bed, Tom told me that I'm a really good mom to Tai. That I'm selfless and loving. That I'm doing a good job. There are plenty of times that I don't feel like I'm doing a good job - when I have far less patience than I think I should. When Tai is whining or crying and I want to leap out the widow. Or toss him out. When he's just being a baby and I'm exhausted and wishing I could run away and I snap at him. So it's unspeakably good to hear that I'm doing a good job from someone who sees me at both my best and my worst.
Now Tai and Tom are sleeping upstairs and I'm taking another moment for myself. I've needed that. All simple things, but so comforting anyway.
1. A long, hot shower where I had enough time to not only shampoo *and* condition, but I also took extra time to daydream about my stories in progress. A hot bowl of soup eaten in front of the TV in my jammies and a robe. Tai sleeping, with Tom on baby duty. It was like a teensy tiny vacation.
2. At the Mom's Group last Friday several of us traded confessions. One mom said she hadn't changed her son's diaper since the morning. It was 4:30 pm. Her pediatrician told her she needed to change him more often. Another mom admitted she'd given her son ice cream recently. He's not technically 'old enough' for ice cream. Another mom said she didn't want to get certain toys for her son because they'd mess up her floor. I admitted that I longed for a business trip (one of the moms had recently gotten back from a four day business trip recently). I wouldn't mind the break. Luxury = time on my own, to think, to dream... to sleep through one single night. Even though all of the 'confessions' were minor, it felt like a moment of bonding. None of us are perfect, we're all trying our best. And there's little as comforting as knowing that we aren't alone in having hard times.
3. Last night Tom and I had a fight. It wasn't pretty, but we both said some things that needed to be said; unfortunately we also said some things that didn't need to be said. But as we went to bed, Tom told me that I'm a really good mom to Tai. That I'm selfless and loving. That I'm doing a good job. There are plenty of times that I don't feel like I'm doing a good job - when I have far less patience than I think I should. When Tai is whining or crying and I want to leap out the widow. Or toss him out. When he's just being a baby and I'm exhausted and wishing I could run away and I snap at him. So it's unspeakably good to hear that I'm doing a good job from someone who sees me at both my best and my worst.
Now Tai and Tom are sleeping upstairs and I'm taking another moment for myself. I've needed that. All simple things, but so comforting anyway.
