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Something in the air?
Oct. 15th, 2009 11:28 pmI've been seriously thinking about having another baby. I've thought about it on and off since just a few weeks after I had Tai, but usually I've felt like it's hormonal baby-fever. In the last couple of weeks I've found out that an old friend from high school is pregnant with her first, and a college friend just had her second baby. Two of the moms in my neighborhood Mom's Group have had their second children already, and another is almost due. My neighbor is pregnant. Not that I need to do what everyone else is, but it's put pregnancy in my head.
Then I was hanging out at Mom's earlier this week and she got a call from Aunt Chris. She'd just been fired and she'd called Mom for commiseration and advice. I started thinking about how cool it was that they had each other to go to, now that Grandma and Grandpa are dead. I know that even if Quin and I don't talk for a while, if anything happens - whether good or bad - we can call each other. As I grew up, I knew that he and I were a team. We'd be fighting like crazy (he's pulled out a fistful of my hair and bit a hole in my Christmas dress and other fun things. I never did such things myself, of course.) and if someone started picking on him, I'd defend him in an instant and he'd do the same for me. Even now I know he's on my side. I know that not everyone has a relationship like that with their sibling, but I hope that I can give that to Tai.
Having another child would be growing the family, not taking something away from him. At least that's what I think in my more relaxed moments.
I haven't started taking Parlodel again - mostly because I'm concerned about how it's going to change the nursing relationship with Tai. (I had to use it to get pregnant before because I have a prolactinoma that was keeping me from ovulating.) Since Parlodel blocks prolactin, it often dries up women's milk. I know of at least one woman who had an established breastfeeding relationship and started Parlodel at a low dose and was able to keep nursing, but that's internet research. Not exactly perfectly trustworthy.
So I'm worried about how having another kid will take me away from Tai. I won't be able to devote most of my time and energy to him. I know he's not going to need that for very much longer, and I know I didn't suffer from having a sibling... I guess I'm still divided. But I feel like it's going to be one of those times where I'm divided right up until I take the plunge. I'm dipping my foot in the water, and holding my breath. We'll see what comes next.
Then I was hanging out at Mom's earlier this week and she got a call from Aunt Chris. She'd just been fired and she'd called Mom for commiseration and advice. I started thinking about how cool it was that they had each other to go to, now that Grandma and Grandpa are dead. I know that even if Quin and I don't talk for a while, if anything happens - whether good or bad - we can call each other. As I grew up, I knew that he and I were a team. We'd be fighting like crazy (he's pulled out a fistful of my hair and bit a hole in my Christmas dress and other fun things. I never did such things myself, of course.) and if someone started picking on him, I'd defend him in an instant and he'd do the same for me. Even now I know he's on my side. I know that not everyone has a relationship like that with their sibling, but I hope that I can give that to Tai.
Having another child would be growing the family, not taking something away from him. At least that's what I think in my more relaxed moments.
I haven't started taking Parlodel again - mostly because I'm concerned about how it's going to change the nursing relationship with Tai. (I had to use it to get pregnant before because I have a prolactinoma that was keeping me from ovulating.) Since Parlodel blocks prolactin, it often dries up women's milk. I know of at least one woman who had an established breastfeeding relationship and started Parlodel at a low dose and was able to keep nursing, but that's internet research. Not exactly perfectly trustworthy.
So I'm worried about how having another kid will take me away from Tai. I won't be able to devote most of my time and energy to him. I know he's not going to need that for very much longer, and I know I didn't suffer from having a sibling... I guess I'm still divided. But I feel like it's going to be one of those times where I'm divided right up until I take the plunge. I'm dipping my foot in the water, and holding my breath. We'll see what comes next.
