Dismay

[aubreym]

I've always been a fan of living in the city.  Ever since I was 10 I've lived surrounded by people - in apartments, in cities, in dorm-rooms.  There was a very short period of time in between college and moving out to San Francisco that I lived in the suburbs.  I hated it.   We lived in a big house, the neighbors felt very far away.  Whenever I was the only one home I felt totally exposed.  If I screamed, no one would hear me.  I feel safe in cities.

Until just lately.  There's been an increased rash of robberies in my area of the city lately.  People are getting threatened by guys with guns, even early in the evening  - like 9pm.  On Saturday night Tom and Tai and I got home around 11:30.  We'd been having date night.  As we drove up our street we saw a group of guys, either teenagers or early 20-somethings.  As Tom parked the car, I watched one of them duck under our neighbor's steps.  Fortunately our neighbor drove up then and confronted them.  They cussed him out, but took off.  I wondered whether we should call the police, since it looked like they were trying to break in the basement window or steal a bike at the very least.  But I didn't.  I found out the next day that they'd stopped a block away and beat up and robbed two guys.

A couple of weeks ago Tom went out on a Friday night.  About 20 minutes after he left, while I was watching TV and Tai was sleeping the dogs barked.  At first I didn't know why - then I heard a woman screaming.  It sounded like she was being hurt and it sounded close.  After freaking out a bit, I went to the door.  Several of my neighbors had come out too - one had called the police.  After a minute we saw the woman come to the window, shouting at someone driving away in a car.  Domestic Incident as far as we could tell, but we don't know what happened.

At about 5:45am last Thursday we were woken by a woman screaming, "Call the police!"  from just down the street.  Tom did.  Several other people did as well, and the cops drove up shortly after.  I don't know what happened, again.  But I can't fully shake the fear I woke up with  that day.  

I'm not sure what to do about this.  I'm trying to be extra-aware when I park the car and take Tai into the house.  I make sure the dogs have access to the front door, just in case.  People in the neighborhood are afraid too and we're talking about meeting to discuss changes to make.  And the Guardian Angels (who I'd never heard of before) offered to have a presence some nights, which I think I'd like.

I think part of it comes from having Tai.  I would do anything to protect him.    And I know that I can't, always.  

Comments

[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. That is really scary. I hope this particular cycle ends soon without impacting you further. I'm really glad you have the dogs--that helps a lot, at least when you're in your house. And yeah, I feel a lot less carefree and untouchable in general, and afraid of threats like break-ins (and earthquakes!) in particular, since Blue was born. The responsibility sortof takes the rose-colored glasses off.