Annual Holiday letter
Dec. 8th, 2008 10:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aubreymFriends and family,
On February 7, at 12:17pm, at St. Luke's Hospital in San Francisco, Tai Isidor Harmon-Duffy was extracted into this world. This, however, was not the plan.
From the beginning , Aubrey had an idea about how she wanted the birth to go. Like most of us, she does not like cold hospital rooms and medical procedures. Instead, she wanted to have the baby in a sanctuary, a place with candles and light scents and soft music, surrounded by close friends and family. After much research and debate, we decided to have a home birth. As Woody Allen said: If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
At 4am on Super Tuesday, February 5, Aubrey nudged me. I grudgingly opened my eyes. Then she informed me -- her contractions had started. Bing! I was awake. Lisa, Aub's close friend and doula, came over a few hours later. I called my parents and told them to expect a grandson soon.
The contractions came and came and came, but the baby did not. This lasted one day. Then two days. By the third morning, Aubrey was exhausted. We hadn't slept and none of the homeopathic remedies were helping. Aubrey decided she needed an epidural and something to move the labor along. This turned out to be a very good idea because it was only after getting to the hospital did we find out that the baby's heart rate started to dip. After patiently waiting days to arrive, he was in distress and an emergency C-section was in order. Despite St. Luke's being a run-down hospital in an under-served area, the staff was jovial and made the experience feel as warm and joyous as they could under the circumstances. Dr. Norrell was always reassuring – once I arrived at the hospital, I never doubted that Tai would be fine. And the anesthesiologist took pictures during the surgery. Everyone was unbelievable. I felt so taken care of.
When the baby arrived, he was not breathing. He needed his nose and throat suctioned and was intubated. After finally breathing on his own, he was put into an incubator and sent to the ICU. As Aub was still in the OR, I followed my baby boy. We got on the elevator, but it had recently been serviced and the nurses didn't have a key. We spent 15 long minutes waiting in the elevator while they scrambled to fix the problem. Luckily, there was no emergency at that point. And it gave me a chance to start bonding with my beautiful son. And he was beautiful, if green. Fortunately he was only in the ICU for a short time, then (at Tom's urging) they brought him to me in the recovery room and gave me a chance to bond with him as well. I was happier than I've ever been.
The labor and birth were the hardest, and paradoxically, most amazing experiences of my life. Even though it didn't go exactly as I'd planned, the outcome is perfect. Ten months later, I still can't believe I have a son. For the first time in my life words fail to express what I feel about him.
We spent a good portion of time in the hospital trying to discover the perfect name for our son. We agreed on Tai Isidor. His first name, Tai, is an homage to his great-grandmother Thelma "Ty" Curchin who died while he was in utero. We used the Chinese spelling to commemorate his birth on the Chinese New Year. It means "great, extreme" (太) or "safe, peaceful" (泰) in Chinese. His second name comes from his great-great-grandfather, Isidor Kucera, who was born in 1902 and lived to see the 21st century. We have great hopes Tai will be able to see the 22nd.
Grandma Karen and Grandpa McGee visited us in the hospital. Grandpas Brogan and Des, were the first to visit from out of town. Following that, it was Mimi and Popa (Judy and Richard). Both Brogan and Judy have been back several times this year. Uncle Patrick came down from Oregon for the 4th of July. Uncle Quinton met Tai when he was five weeks old, on Tai's first trip down to Southern California. Tai has charmed everyone he met. We call him the trainer baby, as he even melts the hearts of those who are unsure about babies.
In September, we took Tai on his great East Coast tour. We visited Mimi and Popa in Washington DC. Then we drove north to New Jersey where we attended my cousin's Bat Mitzvah. Tai loved the party weekend: he danced the nights away.
We visited Tai's two great-grandfathers, Ahah and Pop (Ken Curchin and O'Neill Duffy) in Fair Haven/Rumson, NJ. From there, we flew to Lansing, Michigan to visit Aubrey's Aunt Chris, Uncle Greg and Cousin Dave. We drove up to Flushing, MI to visit Aubrey's father. Tai especially enjoyed Grandpa Harmon's long beard. Apparently his chin was sore for days.
Since his birth, Tai has blossomed into a curious, happy, stubborn, happy, handsome, did I say happy, boy. He's crawling and cruising the furniture and hates being confined to a seat for any length of time. He loves to eat and has tried Mexican, Ethiopian, and American cuisines. He's not so much a fan of sleeping, but he's improving on naps. He loves playing with Daddy and Momma. He points at whatever he wants, then we try to figure out exactly what he means. He empties our drawers and cabinets. Fortunately he's only eaten one Christmas ornament (he's fine). He wakes up with a grin between 6 and 7 every morning and he wakes me up by poking me in the eye and gesturing for his toys. We're swiftly approaching his first birthday and I'm looking forward to seeing what the next year brings.
Ba ba ba. Ma ma. Ga. i. ah.
Happy holidays all. We hope you have a fabulous New Year.
Love,
Tom, Aubrey and Tai
On February 7, at 12:17pm, at St. Luke's Hospital in San Francisco, Tai Isidor Harmon-Duffy was extracted into this world. This, however, was not the plan.
From the beginning , Aubrey had an idea about how she wanted the birth to go. Like most of us, she does not like cold hospital rooms and medical procedures. Instead, she wanted to have the baby in a sanctuary, a place with candles and light scents and soft music, surrounded by close friends and family. After much research and debate, we decided to have a home birth. As Woody Allen said: If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
At 4am on Super Tuesday, February 5, Aubrey nudged me. I grudgingly opened my eyes. Then she informed me -- her contractions had started. Bing! I was awake. Lisa, Aub's close friend and doula, came over a few hours later. I called my parents and told them to expect a grandson soon.
The contractions came and came and came, but the baby did not. This lasted one day. Then two days. By the third morning, Aubrey was exhausted. We hadn't slept and none of the homeopathic remedies were helping. Aubrey decided she needed an epidural and something to move the labor along. This turned out to be a very good idea because it was only after getting to the hospital did we find out that the baby's heart rate started to dip. After patiently waiting days to arrive, he was in distress and an emergency C-section was in order. Despite St. Luke's being a run-down hospital in an under-served area, the staff was jovial and made the experience feel as warm and joyous as they could under the circumstances. Dr. Norrell was always reassuring – once I arrived at the hospital, I never doubted that Tai would be fine. And the anesthesiologist took pictures during the surgery. Everyone was unbelievable. I felt so taken care of.
When the baby arrived, he was not breathing. He needed his nose and throat suctioned and was intubated. After finally breathing on his own, he was put into an incubator and sent to the ICU. As Aub was still in the OR, I followed my baby boy. We got on the elevator, but it had recently been serviced and the nurses didn't have a key. We spent 15 long minutes waiting in the elevator while they scrambled to fix the problem. Luckily, there was no emergency at that point. And it gave me a chance to start bonding with my beautiful son. And he was beautiful, if green. Fortunately he was only in the ICU for a short time, then (at Tom's urging) they brought him to me in the recovery room and gave me a chance to bond with him as well. I was happier than I've ever been.
The labor and birth were the hardest, and paradoxically, most amazing experiences of my life. Even though it didn't go exactly as I'd planned, the outcome is perfect. Ten months later, I still can't believe I have a son. For the first time in my life words fail to express what I feel about him.
We spent a good portion of time in the hospital trying to discover the perfect name for our son. We agreed on Tai Isidor. His first name, Tai, is an homage to his great-grandmother Thelma "Ty" Curchin who died while he was in utero. We used the Chinese spelling to commemorate his birth on the Chinese New Year. It means "great, extreme" (太) or "safe, peaceful" (泰) in Chinese. His second name comes from his great-great-grandfather, Isidor Kucera, who was born in 1902 and lived to see the 21st century. We have great hopes Tai will be able to see the 22nd.
Grandma Karen and Grandpa McGee visited us in the hospital. Grandpas Brogan and Des, were the first to visit from out of town. Following that, it was Mimi and Popa (Judy and Richard). Both Brogan and Judy have been back several times this year. Uncle Patrick came down from Oregon for the 4th of July. Uncle Quinton met Tai when he was five weeks old, on Tai's first trip down to Southern California. Tai has charmed everyone he met. We call him the trainer baby, as he even melts the hearts of those who are unsure about babies.
In September, we took Tai on his great East Coast tour. We visited Mimi and Popa in Washington DC. Then we drove north to New Jersey where we attended my cousin's Bat Mitzvah. Tai loved the party weekend: he danced the nights away.
We visited Tai's two great-grandfathers, Ahah and Pop (Ken Curchin and O'Neill Duffy) in Fair Haven/Rumson, NJ. From there, we flew to Lansing, Michigan to visit Aubrey's Aunt Chris, Uncle Greg and Cousin Dave. We drove up to Flushing, MI to visit Aubrey's father. Tai especially enjoyed Grandpa Harmon's long beard. Apparently his chin was sore for days.
Since his birth, Tai has blossomed into a curious, happy, stubborn, happy, handsome, did I say happy, boy. He's crawling and cruising the furniture and hates being confined to a seat for any length of time. He loves to eat and has tried Mexican, Ethiopian, and American cuisines. He's not so much a fan of sleeping, but he's improving on naps. He loves playing with Daddy and Momma. He points at whatever he wants, then we try to figure out exactly what he means. He empties our drawers and cabinets. Fortunately he's only eaten one Christmas ornament (he's fine). He wakes up with a grin between 6 and 7 every morning and he wakes me up by poking me in the eye and gesturing for his toys. We're swiftly approaching his first birthday and I'm looking forward to seeing what the next year brings.
Ba ba ba. Ma ma. Ga. i. ah.
Happy holidays all. We hope you have a fabulous New Year.
Love,
Tom, Aubrey and Tai
