Frustrated with myself
May. 17th, 2009 10:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aubreymI'm not sure what my issue is this evening. I'm just in a bad mood. I shouldn't be - we had a good weekend. Even though it was hot, fun was had by all. We took Tai out to Crissy Field after breakfast this morning. We spent an hour playing in a little inlet off the Bay. At first he was a bit hesitant of the water, but after just a few minutes he was happily splashing around, running in and out of the water, sitting down in the shallow part and generally having a blast. I was wishing I'd brought my swimsuit as well. He spent a little bit of time knocking down the sandcastles Tom built, but he preferred to be in the water. He takes after Momma that way.
Last night I got together with twirlgrrl and we spent several hours chatting about anything and everything - totally uninterrupted by any (adorable and wonderful, but attention-hording) children. There's nothing better than hanging out with lovely mama-friends. She gave me things to ponder, as well as a good book suggestion. I spent some time today reading "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test". I can't believe I haven't read it before. I am a bad bad hippie. I'm enjoying it, especially the style of Tom Wolfe's writing.
This afternoon Tom and Tai went to the playground for a while and I headed to the coffee shop for some writing time. Unfortunately I just couldn't get into the headspace for novel-writing. I managed to get a (very very) little bit written, but it feels wooden and limping. Anthony is supposed to be flirting with a woman and the dialog has come out stilted. I think a good portion of my funk is because the writing wasn't going well at all. It's one pre-Tai passion that I've stuck with and when it's not going well I feel like I'm a boring dork that doesn't think about anything other than parenting.
My goals for the upcoming week:
1. Spend a portion of Tai's nap-time each day working on the novel. Writing, brainstorming, outlining, whatever. I just need to get back into the world.
2. Spend more time with another adult, even if Tai is there too. Talking to other women helps make everything better.
And - to balance out some of the whine, gratitude.
1. Watching Tai learn - new words of the past couple of days: hot and no.
2. Kick ass women friends both online and IRL.
3. Parks
4. Dogs who always love to cuddle, even when I'm bitchy and grumpy and whiny.
5. Eddie Vedder's voice (always makes me smile)
Last night I got together with twirlgrrl and we spent several hours chatting about anything and everything - totally uninterrupted by any (adorable and wonderful, but attention-hording) children. There's nothing better than hanging out with lovely mama-friends. She gave me things to ponder, as well as a good book suggestion. I spent some time today reading "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test". I can't believe I haven't read it before. I am a bad bad hippie. I'm enjoying it, especially the style of Tom Wolfe's writing.
This afternoon Tom and Tai went to the playground for a while and I headed to the coffee shop for some writing time. Unfortunately I just couldn't get into the headspace for novel-writing. I managed to get a (very very) little bit written, but it feels wooden and limping. Anthony is supposed to be flirting with a woman and the dialog has come out stilted. I think a good portion of my funk is because the writing wasn't going well at all. It's one pre-Tai passion that I've stuck with and when it's not going well I feel like I'm a boring dork that doesn't think about anything other than parenting.
My goals for the upcoming week:
1. Spend a portion of Tai's nap-time each day working on the novel. Writing, brainstorming, outlining, whatever. I just need to get back into the world.
2. Spend more time with another adult, even if Tai is there too. Talking to other women helps make everything better.
And - to balance out some of the whine, gratitude.
1. Watching Tai learn - new words of the past couple of days: hot and no.
2. Kick ass women friends both online and IRL.
3. Parks
4. Dogs who always love to cuddle, even when I'm bitchy and grumpy and whiny.
5. Eddie Vedder's voice (always makes me smile)
