Another Anxious Day

[aubreym]

I'm not sure what exactly contributes to the anxiety, it seems to pop up out of nowhere.  I know what triggers it - mentions of stomach flu or throwing up - but it doesn't happen every time.  Some days I can come across people talking about it and while I might get a momentary sinking feeling, but it passes through me.  Other days, like today, it sends me into a spin anyd I have a hell of a time pulling myself out of it.  I can be playing with Tai or surfing the web and my brain is yammering on about 'what ifs' and general feelings of impending doom.

 I need to work the anxiety today.  Wendy suggested the importance of thinking different thoughts when the phobic-spin thoughts start.  (Like thinking 'I'll be okay' or 'it won't last forever' or 'throwing up is good, it makes me feel better'.)  Apparently thoughts create a neural pathway.  Repeated thoughts strengthen and widen that path until a groove is worn.  I've clearly worn one myself, into this anxiety spin.  Now I need to remember to redirect myself when I start to worry.  Every time I do it will strengthen a new path.  I could use a new path, because Tai will get the stomach flu one day and I need to not freak him out about throwing up.  I want to teach him a new lesson - that it's okay to get sick; not fun, but survivable and throwing up can actually make you feel better afterwords

Things to remember that Wendy suggested:
    For nausea - ginger and peppermint help. If I throw up, don't brush teeth for 45 minutes after because it softens tooth enamel.
    For anxiety - Identify what I need physically and mentally and do it. (Food, sleep, exercise, TV, novel)
                            Get out of my rut physically.  Get out of the house.  Walk.  Move.
                            Remember past situations that have triggered me that I've gotten through.
    In general - Ask for what I need (help, info, etc).  Communicate.

Things I need to remember for myself:
    I don't want to let this anxiety shrink my world again.  I've fought that and I don't want to lose the ground I've gained.  I want to live my life, not stay huddled in the house.  I don't want my son to be stuck dealing with my insanity.
 

Comments

[neuraltube.livejournal.com]

Hey...

I think you are doing an awesome job of staying aware and looking for ways to work through your fears.

Thanks for being there for me and I'm here for you too.

[aubreym.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the encouragement. It means a lot.

[janisfan.livejournal.com]

I don't want my son to be stuck dealing with my insanity.

I think that ought to be every mom's motto. If only so that our kids only should have to deal with their own insanities. Which they will have in spite of and despite everything we do to protect them.

I was probably twice as sick as I should have been because I very much fear throwing up. Also, GI stuff is by far the scariest thing for me when Sadie is ill. It's one of the best reasons to breastfeed actually. Sadie didn't get a GI thing at all until her BM consumption went way down. And her daycare had many rounds of it go thru the formula fed kids.

That's what we're here for mama.

And I'd love to get together and hang out with you [more often]. I find that being around other parents helps me thru this stuff...and well, misery loves company too!

[aubreym.livejournal.com]

Yes - our kids will have plenty to deal with on their own, without our adding more of our own stuff.

Let's get together soon! Misery loves company, and so does happiness. Hopefully we'll be celebrating both obama's election and Prop 8's defeat tomorrow!