Into the Wild

[aubreym]

Sometimes I yearn so fiercely for wide open spaces.  I long to run away somewhere no one knows me.  Somewhere far from the life I have here.  I want to travel the expanse of America, the wide open plains.  I want to flee the country, to Africa, Tibet, India, anywhere strange and new.  I want to have experiences - big experiences.  A real adventure.  

I want to throw away everything I own, lighten my load.  Only keep a few notebooks, pens, a favorite book or two, a couple of t-shirts and jeans, Birks, sweatshirts.  Put these few things in a backpack and go.  No planning, no preparation.  Leave behind the pieces of myself that I don't like - anxieties and depressions.  I imagine a freedom in the travel, an opening of myself along with the vistas I'd find before me.  But all of the ties I have created in my life (family, friends, the baby) serve to keep me here. No matter how much I yearn, I am rooted.  Usually that makes me happy, I tend to be most comfortable in places I know well.  But sometimes - sometimes I want to leave it all behind.