Late night babbling

[aubreym]

This afternoon Tai and I headed over to neuraltube 's place to celebrate Blue's birthday.  Tai had a blast, playing with the big kids and checking out all of Blue's cool toys.  It took him a minute or two to warm up, since we were (almost) the last ones there, and he'd been sleeping in the car.  But pretty soon he was flirting with janisfan  and artemis_rich .  Unfortunately, I was not as adorable.  I'm not too sure what my deal was, I just got an attack of the awkwards.  Every now and again I get overly self-conscious and I start over-thinking how I'm coming across to people and I start to feel like a big dork who is just lurking around the edges of a group. Which makes me act like a big dork who is lurking around the edges of a group.  Lame.  I certainly didn't make my best impression, but I showed up - which is a much bigger thing than it sounds.  Usually I'll just hide out at home.  Tai, on the other hand, always loves a good party and I didn't want to deprive him.  Plus,  I wanted to wish Blue a happy 4th birthday.  He's such a big kid, and so amazingly sweet to Tai.  When Tai arrived, Blue gave him the nicest hug and kiss.  I wish I'd had a camera.

While I know it's good for the state and all, I am so bummed that it's raining again.  Tai and I have been enjoying running around the neighborhood and haunting the playground every day.  What are we going to do with ourselves while it's raining?  Maybe I'll have to find him a raincoat to go withe the boots I got him and we can see what the city is like in the rain.  Tai loves to make the covers over PG&E meters clank when he stomps on them - I bet he'll dig stomping in puddles.

I've been doing a lot of reading on Livejournal lately, trying to keep up with RaceFail '09.  A lot has been said, some of it batshit insane, but some of it well-written and insightful.  I especially found both parts of Mary-Anne Mohanraj's entry on John Scalzi's blog really amazing.  More to say about this soon - but not tonight.  It's too late for using of the brain.

Also - Mel is coming to town next month.  I cannot wait!  

Comments

[ninjalie.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you were feeling awkward but if its any consolation I didn't notice. I'm glad you made it :D The rain is a bummer but it was gorgeous most of last week so I figure we're due.

[aubreym.livejournal.com]

Thanks - and I'm glad you didn't notice. It is consolation! I hope the car situation worked out; that totally sucks. Also - hope you had fun at the Sutro Baths!

[twirlgrrl.livejournal.com]

Kid raincoats are the cutest! You need one!

I didn't notice either... and I'm really glad you came in spite of how you were feeling.

[aubreym.livejournal.com]

I do! And they are! Sadly, Tai is too sick to go out today, and it looks like the rain is gone until the weekend. (Yay, weekend!)

I'm glad you didn't notice. And I'm glad I went, too.

[janisfan.livejournal.com]

I didn't notice at all either. I too almost always feel that way - on the outside even when on the inside, awkwardness, etc. It's made all the worse nowadays b/c if Sadie's around I am always a bit distracted by whatever it is that she is doing.

I was also pondering the impact of LJ on IRL friendships...sometimes I wonder what to say b/c I worry that I am just repeating what I have already said or will say in my LJ and then I clam up some.

[aubreym.livejournal.com]

Yes and yes! I am sure I recycle stories on LJ and IRL - though I don't necessarily update LJ as much as I should. Then add in IM, email, and talking to several people plus the kidlet distraction (as you mentioned) and it's a wonder I don't just tell the same story over and over and over...

That distraction is really crazy, isn't it? I can be on the phone, Tom can be home, and I'm still the one paying attention to what Tai is doing.

[artemis-rich.livejournal.com]

Echoing what everyone else has said, I noticed no awkwardness. Hell, you didn't see me come in in a blaze of hair with a suddenly shy 3 year old clinging to one leg, barely saying hello while trying to juggle bags, child, stuffed tiger and an unexpected onslaught of social anxiety.

It was lovely to see you, regardless, and Tai is an incredibly charming Buddha baby-man!

[aubreym.livejournal.com]

Maybe the social-anxiety thing was just an in-the-air sort of thing... I always feel a bit like Kramer, bursting through the door while almost falling with baby and diaper-bag and pants falling down and fried brain. All this to say, so glad you relate!

And I have to say, I was considering hiding out in Blue's room with Arabis. She's a lovely girl.

It was lovely to see you too, all dorkosity aside. Thank you for the Tai-compliments!